Butterflies
by Neytah-chama
Summary: Why is it, after all these years, he still gives me butterflies?


**A/n: Hi! Thank you for choosing to read my story. This is one of my favorite fanfictions i've written, and i hope you enjoy it as much as I do! It started out as a songfic for "I'd lie" by Taylor Swift, but after a while the lyrics started interrupting the story, so i took the lyrics out. While it isn't the songfic, i had the song in mind while writing it, soo... idk, i just wanted to put that out there! anyway, i hope you enjoy!**_  
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_Butterflies_

They'd all call me crazy. Ridiculous, delusional. He's like your brother! He's 10 years older than you. Yep, it's one of those stories where the girl likes the older brother figure, but it'll never happen. The story's been told before. Why not tell it again?

Teddy, Teddy Lupin. The boy that would always visit on Christmas, and always get me the presents I wanted. He'd tickle me when I was bad, and tickle me when I didn't do anything wrong, too. He'd pat me on the head; brush my hair out of my eyes. How couldn't a small, five-year-old girl fall for this dream? It started as simple as that.

At 7, I remember him talking to Dad. He had a girlfriend, my cousin Victoire. I thought, if he could fall in love with Victoire, he could fall in love with me, right? Seven-year-olds have such amazing logic, don't they?

I grew up, and with growing up, you get an abrupt realization of what's real and what's not. The feelings I had for Teddy were real. Every time I saw him, I got butterflies in my stomach. But the chances of _us_, for real? Slim to none. And that my friends, is life.

He was that big brother, I was that little sister. And that's all I ever would be to him. No, he'd never noticed how sometimes I'd blink too much when he looked at me, or how I fidgeted with my shirt when we were alone together. He's a boy, what do you expect? He'd talk about Victoire a lot. By my 4th year, they were engaged.

Teddy made me a bridesmaid for the wedding. Standing between Dominique and Rose, I watched Victoire walk down the aisle. So pretty, so perfect. So not me. Her eyes sparkled like crystals, her hair flowing, the color of fresh fallen snow. Her dress swooped around her like a wave, pure white, flowing behind her down the aisle. Fleur wiped away a tear at the sight of her daughter. And in an instant, I became disgusted.

Vicki had everything! Seriously model pretty, flawless skin, sparkling baby blue eyes. She was always stick thin, always smiling. It was like she'd stepped out of a Barbie box. And this was Barbie—bride edition, getting married to Ken. My Ken. And when the vows were said, and the marriage was official, a single tear rolled down my cheek. Not from happiness, like Fleur, but of loss. Loss of the only thing I had ever really wanted. And it—he—was hers now.

The reception continued, with plenty of smiles, laughter, and congratulations. Yeah, congrats Vicki. For officially ruining my life. I secretly sulked in a corner, but I couldn't hide. A boy I had never met before came up to me, and asked me to dance. This ladies and gentlemen, is the infamous Michael Wood.

He was the son of an old friend of my dad's. He was sweet, courteous; I couldn't help but laugh around him. We talked as we danced. He was in my year, a Hufflepuff. He had 3 sisters, and a Potions essay to work on after the wedding, which he'd been avoiding for weeks. So much for all Hufflepuffs being diligent, punctual workers.

Somehow, I could act natural around him. He was almost perfect, perfect for me. We'd kissed by the end of the night.

Thus starts the chapter of the life of Lily Potter whist she was dating Michael Wood. We were together for years, I tell you, years! Somehow, we stayed together for all that time, and we were still dating when we graduated. But somehow, I couldn't forget him. I couldn't forget Teddy, no matter how hard I tried. He has a daughter now. Monica Lupin. A natural blonde, though she prefers purple, and a true mischief-maker, just like her dad.

And still, after years of being in love with Michael, I still got butterflies. Visiting Teddy's family for the first time in years, I couldn't shake the feeling I'd had since I was little. But what did it matter? He was a married man, and I had a wonderful boyfriend. It was stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid me.

I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I mean, who would understand? Who wouldn't tell? I was strange, abnormal. I'd be seen differently for it. So, I kept my darn mouth shut, and stayed with Michael.

And I do love Michael. I really do. He and I were practically a perfect fit. He proposed to me in January, when we were 19. We set the wedding date for August.

Everyone was ecstatic. Clamoring into my parent's house, dashing around, planning. It was this time, where Victoire and I had our occasional talks. Well, she'd mostly talk, and I'd just nod and kind-of listen.

"You love him, don't you?" she said. "Michael." I smiled, and nodded.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I used to feel that way, too."

My jaw seriously dropped. Not noticing, she continued.

"I mean, everything was great in school, but… you grow up, you know what I mean?" I just sat there, still in shock.

"But then again," she said, "that's just me. I'm sure everything will be fine with you and Michael." She smiled. "And if you please couldn't tell anyone about this? I just need to get that out." I nodded in shock. "And I'm gonna stay with him anyways. For Monica."

I watched her after this. Her blonde hair brushing over her face, her perfect, manicured fingers sliding the needle in and out of the fabric. She had everything. Absolutely everything. And the one boy she had all to her own, Teddy Lupin, whom I'd always wanted, she wanted to throw away. I was disgusted. Truly disgusted.

But it wasn't like I could do anything. What she had said to me, she obviously wasn't showing to anyone else. And Teddy was happy. That's all I should want, right? For Teddy to be happy.

The Wedding date grew nearer and nearer and it was as hectic as ever. My week was full of being stabbed with pins, mascara brushes, and just about all other wedding related things imaginable. By the end of the week, I practically wanted to stab my eyes out to damper my pounding headache. But, after a week of hair pulling, stomach squeezing, and eye poking, I was ready for the big day.

The night before the wedding, Teddy came to talk to me. We stood out on a balcony, overlooking the area.

"Victoire and I broke up."

"Oh."

A silence proceeded. I looked out, over the horizon, pondering what he had just said, and wondering what might happen in the next few minutes.

"Lily." He said. "Are you sure about this? Are you sure he's the one?" I smiled.

"100% sure."

He looked away, out to the horizon.

"I mean," I said, "there was this one other guy. But life goes on. I have to move on."

And at that, I left the balcony, ready to go on, start my new life with Michael. Everything of the past was over, regardless of Teddy's possible divorce. This was a new chapter of my life, and I was ready to take it by storm.

Even thought he still gives me butterflies.

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><p><strong>An: thanks for reading! please review! even if you're not like a master critique-er, a simple 'i really liked it' or 'that was awesome!' will really make my day.**

**~ Neytah**


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